How to Explain Surrogacy to Your Children
Surrogacy is when a woman agrees to carry and deliver a baby for another person or couple. The surrogate mother is usually not the child’s biological mother. The surrogacy process typically involves the following steps: the intending parents and the surrogate mother (or egg donor, if needed) undergo legal and psychological counseling, and a contract is drawn between the intending parents and the surrogate mother.
Subsequently, each party’s rights and responsibilities are outlined, fertility treatments are used to help the surrogate mother become pregnant, and finally. The baby is born, and the intending parents take custody.
This process is also similar for members of the LGBTQ community who wed and desire to raise a child. Hence, if you wonder how do lesbians have a baby, you have your response.
After adopting a child, the task that lays ahead is now explaining surrogacy to your children.
Here are simple tips you can consider:
When explaining this to the kids, use simple language that they will comprehend. For instance, start by explaining what surrogacy is; you could say that when two people have a baby, the woman carrying the baby is called the surrogate.
The surrogate mother carries the baby for nine months, just like a regular mother, and then gives the baby to the parents after birth. Surrogacy is a way for two people who cannot have a baby the traditional way to have a child. The child should now understand that you are not their biological parents.
You can further explain that a surrogate carried the baby for the couple. They may be related to the couple or not. Further, you can explain how surrogates are chosen. You may indicate that a couple may choose the surrogate themselves or work with an agency. It may also help if you explain that the surrogate is paid for her services.
When to explain to the older children:
If you have older kids, it is essential to talk to your children about surrogacy before the baby is born. They may have questions about why a couple cannot have a baby the traditional way. If the child is old enough, you can explain the medical reasons. You can also clarify that the surrogate does this to help the couple have a baby.
This will ease their acceptance of the child into the family. They will view the newborn as a complete family member.
It is also vital to help the child understand that the surrogate is not the mother. The child may be confused about this at first. You can explain that the surrogate is carrying the baby for the couple, but she is not the mother.
The child’s relationship with the surrogate:
The child’s relationship with the surrogate will differ from the child’s relationship with the mother. The surrogate is not the child’s mother and will not be raising the child. The child will have a different relationship with the surrogate, depending on how much contact the child has with her. The child may see the surrogate as a friend or aunt.
Surrogacy is a beautiful thing. It helps many couples start and grow families. It is especially useful if the couple cannot have a child using biological means. However, what is more important is knowing how to explain to your child that they are the result of surrogacy. Lastly, older siblings should also be in the loop of the whole surrogacy process.