I will not do everything for you, son

For the past years, I always told myself that I will do everything I can to make my son’s life easier when he grows up. I want him to have a comfortable life. I want him to have a passive income and everything good in this world.  It breaks my heart to even imagine him not having the things he needs and wants.

But, I realized that maybe doing everything for him may do more harm than good.

When I was still in the corporate world, my boss (a billionaire), will bring his grandparents at the office and let the staff teach them about the ins and outs of the business. I was surprised to see them at the office once in a while. These people should be spending time in their rest house, travelling the world, shopping and enjoying life. They have enough money to feed themselves (and even support their wants) to last their lifetime. They have managers to take care of the business for them, they don’t need to be at the office anymore. But, what I learned from this situation is that, if the managers they hired fail to do their job and lose all their money, the owner can bring back their business to life because he is knowledgeable and experienced. He can start again and will pursue.

In order to be strong, we need to experience and pass all the hardships and trials in life. Problems are somehow blessings in disguise. Bad things happens to strengthen us, to teach us and helps us reach our dreams and to be what we want to be.

If I will apply this for being a mom, I think that it’s better that as early as now, I will let my son solve his small problems. I know with his condition this will be hard, pero ang dami na naming pinagdaanan and I believe kakayanin namin to. Practice makes perfect.

My husband and I will just be here, we both promise to guide him, give advises and be good mentors. But we will not tolerate that he will be dependent to us.

We will not be with him forever, we can’t always see his moves.  He needs to have a strong foundation and learn things on his own. He needs to survive the cruel world even without mom and dad. He needs to learn to stand on his own.

Maybe now he would not understand, why I will let him get his own water instead of bringing him one when his thristy. Why I let him clean his own mess or fixed his things instead of me doing it for him. Maybe I will look bad in his eyes when I ask him to wash the dishes or ask him to clean the bathroom or sweep the floor.

But it’s better that he learns it now than be a person who doesn’t know anything when he becomes a full grown man.

That is why from now on, I will not do everything for you, son.

Did you get my point mommies?