Oh my! My highschool friend says farewell Forever.

My high school best friend Sonia left a message on my Facebook account asking me why is it that I didn’t went to the funeral of our friend Grace Agustin. I was shocked when I read it. She told me that Grace had Bone Cancer and died October last year. October?? and I didn’t even knew about it, I felt really sad. She told me that they’ve texted everyone that they know that Grace had connections with but I didn’t receive any.

I felt so sad, because I only met her again last 2006, that was the only time that I had met her again , the last time was after highschool graduation which was 12 years ago. We haven’t had a chance to contact each other because back then, cellphones were not yet “in”. Contacting her became more difficult after wards because we went to different schools in college. She stayed in Alabang, while I went to Manila and it’s farther away from Alabang (my hometown). We meet new friends along the way in college and maybe that is one of the reasons that we haven’t had the chance to find our old friends.

I stayed in Manila, because I found my true love here. Not until 2006 when my old friend Jonah had my number and contacted me. I asked her to come to our house here in Manila together with my other close friends Sonia and Grace. We haven’t seen each other for almost a decade and I know there are lots of changes that happened to all of us. I am not the old “Happy-Go-Lucky girl” they have known before, I am more matured now in my life. But, I was surprised because they stayed the same, they asked if they can have a drink and smoke, which I don’t do anymore right after High school graduation.

Honestly, I believe that we did not have some fun on that day, I think I didn’t entertained them just like the old days.

Since I had a good job back then I told Grace that if ever she needs help in looking for a job I can give her one. But, I told her that the only available jobs that I could offer her was the blue collar jobs, and she accepted it. Here in the Philippines, you are very lucky if you will be regularized if you have a blue collar jobs. Most end their contracts after 5-6 months of service with the company. Unfortunately, Grace was one of them, and I don’t have any control over it because it’s the company’s decision.

Grace knew that it might happen so she accepted it wholeheartedly. Not until, she contacted me again about getting her last pay check from our HR Department. Our HR Department was situated at another building, so if you will have an appointment with them you have no choice but to walk in a very hot open field before you can get to them. Grace wanted me to check with our HR why is it that her last paycheck was not released yet. I gave her the number of our HR department for her to contact them personally because at that time I am so very busy, and I was pregnant.

Honestly, I was irritated that time with her, because she kept on texting me to contact HR even though I already gave her the numbers to call herself. I told her straight that I can’t do it, she seemed to understand and asked for forgiveness, and didn’t bother me anymore. The next day I realized my mistakes and that I should have helped her in the best I can. But after this, I haven’t heard from her again. Not until now that I had this sad message.

I felt so guilty about what I did to her. I felt that if only I help her with the little things that she asked for, then maybe I eased a little bit of her suffering. If only I am not too busy that time.

I learned my lesson, I should always give a little of my time to all my loved ones and friends if they needed me because we don’t know what they are going through.

I have many regrets but I can’t do anything for her now, because she’s gone FOREVER.

Wherever you are now Grace, I am really sorry for what happened. You will always be in my heart no matter what. We had so much fun together when we were in High school and I will treasure it for the rest of my life. I love you my dear friend.

photo via: flickr