Letting Go of so-called “FRIENDS”

I believe in the saying that “As you grow older, you realized it become less important to have more friends and it’s more important to have REAL ones. Here’s a story that happened to me this 2018, that I want to post here before the year ends to remind me of the lessons I learned from it.

This year I removed a toxic person in my life. This person has deeply hurt me because I learned that she has some negative assumptions about me. It’s a long story if I will tell you what it is. This is one of my pet peeve lang kasi, ayoko kapag pinag–iisipan mo ako ng masama at hindi naman totoo. Kaya ko kasi panindigan kung totoong ginawa ko o sinabi, pero kung hindi, at inassume mo lang, doon ako inis na inis.

After I learned about it, I don’t want to be with her anymore, that’s why every time a common friend invited us, I choose not to go when she’s there.

I thought she will notice and ask me why I’m always not around (true friends would do that). I have waited for her to talk to me and tell me what she feels directly (instead of saying it to other people), but she didn’t do it.

I realized that I really can’t be a friend with her anymore when I had the opportunity to chat with her older sister and her older sister said some not so good things about her. That’s when I unfriended her on Facebook.

I think she found out about me unfriending her, so what she did was that she blocked me.

After a few months, she messaged me (perhaps she unblocked me to be able to message me) and told me that she didn’t know how and when I decided to become frenemies with her (ohhh! she’s playing the victim card), that if I have issues with her I should have told her daw (as if sya din sinabi nya sa’kin) and that I’m the one adding wedges with her relationship with her sister (nalaman din nyang nakausap ko kapatid nya).

I decided not to reply, because first, I don’t want to save the friendship I had with her anymore, second, that time I was protecting her older sister for all the things she revealed to me. If I have to reply, of course, I will defend myself that they have issues already even before I talked to her ate, bla bla bla.

Perhaps what I did wrong here was that I did not give her a chance to explain her side when I learned about the negative assumptions she had with me.

I only realized this mistake when her new friend, the person I once looked up to, unfriended me too. I messaged this person to ask why? and she just replied with “I don’t need to explain anything I do on my social media account”.

I asked forgiveness even though I don’t know the reason, because I can’t think of anything I did to her that made her so mad. Then I remember her “now friend” that I also did not give a chance to explain herself to me.

Karma is fast, I hurt her and I was hurt too (by a different person)

ANYWAY, I’m glad that her sister unfriended me also. I think both of them have a behavior problem and that I don’t want to be part of their lives anymore.

I want to move on and let them go.

I still have friends who believe in me and love me for who I am and accept the imperfect me.