The effects of exposing my son to the things that he is afraid of

Two years ago, my son and I were invited to a fabulous 1st birthday party. The family went all the way from Palawan to go here in Manila to celebrate their son’s 1st birthday with family and friends who are all residents here.

When I received the invite and I saw that the venue of the party was a hotel, I knew that Ren will not feel comfortable because he was afraid of very loud sounds, secluded and dark areas and lots of people. But I still brought him with me, because it’s a kid’s party and alangan namang ako lang pupunta.

While we were at the taxi going to the venue, I oriented him that we will go to a birthday party and that there will be loud sounds and lots of people but I also assured him that I will stay beside him and we will eat and play together.  When we are almost near the room, Ren heard the music playing and he immediately covered his ears. When I opened the door, he held my hand tightly and suddenly he cried and shouted.   Every one looked at us, and of course I felt ashamed.  I was able to made him sit, but while he is sitting down he kept on pulling me to the door.  So I brought him out, I did not even had the chance to greet everyone I knew at the party.

We stayed at the door and I told him that I am with him and that we will just eat and have some fun inside.   Unfortunately, I can’t make him go inside anymore, he was so afraid that whenever I will open the door he will sit down and cry.  So, to avoid more embarrassment, we just went home and I just texted my friend to say sorry that we were not able to party with them.

I considered that as one of the worst situations that I have experienced.

But, did it stopped me from bringing Ren to a birthday party? No it did not!

I know that Ren will overcome his fear of loud sounds, closed area and crowded people if I exposed him more.

Of course, I was afraid that he will throw tantrums when we are already at the birthday party but I did not let my own fear get to me. I am determined to help my son overcome his.  Besides, I was thinking that if he does get the tantrums then we can always go out and at least we tried, di ba?

If there was no party to attend to, what I did was I brought him to noisy and crowded places (hello Divisoria, Star City, Enchanted Kingdom and even the nearest palengke in our area).  Then eventually, voila!!  He finally got accustomed to it. nasanay na sya 🙂

Now, I am proud to say that he enjoys birthday parties more than ever.  He doesn’t cover his ears that much anymore when he hears loud sounds.

He now loves birthday parties!!!

There is a voice in me before to just let him stay away to the things he were afraid of so that he will not cry or have a meltdown that will make us look ridiculous to the eyes of other people. But thanks to his therapists, they advised me to expose him more to those things and let him overcome it on his own.

I am glad that Noel and I listened to them.